GOD KNOWS

So, I get a phone call last night and i'm heartbroken as my dad tells me that a friend of mine stopped by to tell me that another friend of mine had passed away. I'M FLOORED!

Felo was my best friend from 1993 to 1996, yeah...Pre-Jesus! Once I went Holy, they fled like flies! I loved my felo. His real name was Orfelio...but we didn't like that...so Felo was born! =)

Felo was cute...just my type, tall, skinny, soft hands, GREAT Dresser and smart...he worked in a shoe store, so girls...YOU KNOW! I could of easily been in LOVE! ok..."LOVE" LOL. But it wasn't like that, he was like a girlfriend, my BEST FRIEND!

I met Felo when he worked at the Cinema 8, my cousin Becky was the Assistant Manager there and we were there every night watching free movies, he was an Usher. I remember thinking..."wow, he's cute!" Becky was always trying to hook him up with the little winches that worked there, he'd never fall for it! I used to call him one of the kids even though he was only a year younger than me. I would pick him up from work, mother him a little bit and ride him all over town in my little Mustang...LOL...Mustang Sally. The Rosenberg Cops named us the NIGHT RIDERS...so we never got busted for breaking curfew. It was forever Alicia, Felo, Becky and me . Riding around town non-stop hitting all the hot spots; Whataburger (so the cops could see us), The Colonia (to make sure no one was partying w/o us), The Heights (to see what Wicho was up to) and the Tropicana (to make sure Hector was still FINE!). What idiots!!! LOL...We referred to this as, "Busting a Cruise".

Once I became a nanny and moved, we still spoke daily. We gathered at Alicias just about every weekend. We were family! He was the sweetest person you'll ever meet. He would listen to me and all my boy drama, tell me I could do better! And the way we would all ramble, we all knew each others stories like the back of our hands. I call this the Merry-go-round effect! JUST JUMP OFF ALREADY! But i'd always jump right back on! LOL...we were so s t o o p i d!

I always use Felo as part of my salvation story, see...my Felo was gay. I've learned that when things happen to you as a child more than likely your going to fall into one of the following 3 categories: Drugie, Promiscuous or Homosexual! I fell into the 2nd, my Felo fell into the 3rd! Don't ever a judge a person without knowing their full history!!! I mean that!!!

So, back to the story. I remember always dragging him with me to my clubs; El Dorado Ranch in Pasadena, The one on Richmond and Hillcroft and to Crystals our Salsa hang out! And he'd always go, no questions asked (like who are we stalking tonight!) LOL...no hesitation. Well one night he said, "why don't you come with me to one of my clubs since I always go with you!" By now, i'd been hearing the voice of the Lord telling me to come serve him from time to time (me still refusing over and over!) well I said..."surrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre...why not!!!" But I was thinking...O heck no!!!! Well one night we pull up to Riches in my little Ford Probe (I thought I was all that in it! pfff) We get out and I remember muttering under my breathe...LORD, IF YOU'RE REAL, PLEASE GET ME OUT OF THIS...DO NOT LET ME GET IN!" I'm leading the pack as if this is my idea, we get to the door and i'm looking at guys leading guys in pulling them by dog collars!!!!!!! oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap!!! (i'm only thinking this!) The guy looks at everyone and says..."you can go in, you can go in, you can go in, but YOU CANNOT GO IN!" I'm like "what the dot dot dot dot what do you mean??? How you gonna turn me away"...I didn't speak this nice back then so i'm sure I was flowing him a Parental Cautioned version of a rap song I'm sure I had just listened to but was secretly thinking...I KNOW NOW THAT YOUR REAL...PRAISE YOU GOD, PRAISE YOU GOD, PRAISE YOU GOD...THANK YOUUUUUUUUUU!!! Hence goes my story!

I ran into a former boss of his today at the wake and she said, "I'll take you back...did you own a little white convertble"...I just laughed. She said, "I remember you pulling into Famous Footwear to drop him off, long hair just flowing" and she swayed it back and forth...i'm dying by now. She said, "I 20 questioned him soo fast...Who is she?? Your girlfriend?? She's cute...you should get with her!!"..."NO, SHE'S JUST MY FRIEND!" (To this day, I HATE those words!!! LOL)

He once told me, "you and I should just get married so my parents can get off my back!!" I was like "oh heck no...I like MEN!!! YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN BUDDY!"

Once I went Jesus, I was left solo! I lost all my friends...they all abandoned me and thought I was crazy and possibly in a cult or something...so we all lost touch! I ran into him from time to time at Rack Room where he worked, but we never hung out again! LOL...now I was the converter...LOL...so there's no way I can roll with you! I missed my Felo!

We were told he got Pneumonia in December and was even hospitalized a couple of times. He got better and all of a sudden relapsed last week. His lungs collapsed and he went into a coma. Doctors said he would never recover and he was pulled off of life support on Friday!

I tell you this story cause he's been on my mind for a couple of months now! So strong!!! I've been asking everyone who knew him if they had seen him. No one knew anyting! I've tried researching him on the internet...NOTHING...with his name, how many can there be??? Well come to find out...NOT ONE!!! LOL. I didn't know what was going on, just that I wanted to find him. To get in touch with him. Now I know why. I remember praying for his salvation when I first gave my life to the Lord and i've prayed for him every now and again. But what if this was my clue from GOD himself to intercede from HIM and I failed??!! I don't want this to happen to any of you, if someone pops into your head...PRAY FOR THEM RIGHT AWAY! Don't wait, Don't put it off till later. People need people sometimes to bring them to where GOD is...that was our lesson in church today. Life is not perchance...its predestined! GOD KNOWS what's going to happen before it happens and uses us for intervention sometimes...Me knowing this should of tried harder to find or pray for him. Not that i'm blaming myself...but its a lesson...life is precious! We're not promised tomorrow. Maybe it was just so I could get my good bye in and have no regrets...but now I have a regret and its going to take some time to get over it! So tell the ones you love you love them. Say goodbye as if you really care about that person so they'll know. And don't hesitate to pray for someone when they pop into your mind. GOD KNOWS and wants to fill you in sometimes! Isn't HE great?!

I will always hold you in my heart Felo! Love-Your Friend